What Are You Waiting For?

I know I've been a slacker lately in the blogging department. I'll be honest with you. I've been a slacker in a few other departments, too. Of course like any other self respecting slacker, I have what I feel are pretty reasonable excuses for my slackishness. Hey, cool...I think I just invented another new word. :0)

A month or so ago, while I was babysitting my friends' one-year-old baby, I picked him up and turned to lift him up and flared up a back injury that really took me out of the game for a couple of weeks. Finding any position that was comfortable was difficult and sitting at my computer typing was just not working for me. I worked on my book some and sort of let the blog sit on the back burner. Also, I have been struggling with fatigue and tiring easily for quite some time. As many of you regular readers already know I am a bit of a procrastinator and because of this, I really shot myself in the foot by not following up on a medical exam back in July. I had an ultrasound and some blood work done and because of my busy schedule and difficulty scheduling an appointment, I put off calling the Dr. office back until my symptoms got to be too much. Had I done so, I would have known BACK IN JULY that I am anemic. Duh!! Good to know. I'm taking iron and hopefully will be my old energetic self very soon! I also learned that I will have to have a surgery in May to take care of some issues that I have been dealing with. Though I'm not looking forward to the procedure and recovery, I'll be glad to have some issues resolved. Please keep me in your prayers.

After finally resolving these issues I came to the realization that there is a recurring question in my life that keeps popping up. "What are you waiting for?" I find myself doing a lot of waiting for things (or people) to line up just right instead of moving ahead and getting things accomplished or addressed as I should. Anyone else dealing with this? I've seen a lot of others in my life sort of stuck in the same holding pattern. Waiting. Putting things off. Waiting for others to move first. Why do we do this? In my case it is for a couple of reasons....

First of all...in all fairness, I have been super busy with kids, homework, cheer leading practices, singing a lot at church this past month, etc. My hubby has been working crazy long hours so he's not home as much as we would all like. Add to that a sore back and anemic lack of energy. I have pushed a lot of things to the side and have sort of been operating in 'survival mode' lately. Kids are happy, healthy, and doing great in school and the house is reasonably clean so I guess that is good enough for now. I guess you could say I've been doing the best I can with the cards I was dealt but in the back of my mind, I'm kicking myself for not going to the doctor sooner. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?

Enough with the excuses, already. I am going to make myself accountable to all of you right now and say that I am resolving to do better at getting things done more efficiently. I know I can do some things to optimize my effectiveness. In order to do this, I will have to do something that is inherently  foreign to my nature. Yes, that's right...I'm going to have to become more....(dare I even say this detestable word) STRUCTURED. *Shudder* This has always been a challenge for me. I am most in my element when I am in the creative process. Working within a framework or structure or plan is not my forte. Still, I see that I need to just suck it up and get more organized and become a better planner. If any of you have any advice or wisdom for me in this area, I would love to hear your suggestions. The irony is that I am great at motivating and organizing others. Just have a hard time applying it to my own life. I'm eagerly awaiting your suggestions in this area!

Here's some good news that is sort of related to the topic of waiting....

Some of you know that I have been serving in the choir and then the worship team for about 5 years at Lakewood Church in Houston, TX. I have been given an opportunity to sing a duet with a dear friend this weekend during the offering. God is so faithful. Please be praying for me. I'm also getting over a cough and scratchy throat which is affecting my voice. I'm believing that God will use us to touch some hearts and that more than anything, we will be a reflection of God's love and mercy. I'm beyond humbled and  super excited.

If you would like to tune in and watch, here's the link: http://www.lakewood.cc/pages/watchonline.aspx
Service times are: Saturday, March 3, at 7pm and Sunday, March 4 at 8:30 am and 11:00 am, Central time.

So glad you stopped by...

Blessings,
~Cat

Pick On Somebody Your Own Size....

I know I've said this before but it bears repeating. I am not qualified in any way whatsoever to offer wisdom, counsel or advice about anything of importance. Of course, as usual, that won't stop me from doing it anyway. Since this is my blog and is really just an outlet for the expression of my opinions, I will take the liberty of weighing in on a subject that is heavy on my heart right now. Bullying.

Today is National Stop Bullying Day. I guess it's cool that they gave it an official day. I'm not all that convinced that observing a designated day will do much to stop bullying but I suppose anything that opens up dialogue about the subject is a step in the right direction. Come to think of it, opening up dialogue is pretty much the best answer for most problems. As long as it's respectful and there is the expectancy of resolution and there is active listening going on, that is...Otherwise it's just a lot of wasted time and oxygen.

So, what is bullying, really? Being beat up? Ganged up on? Someone being mean to you? Being put down or insulted? Having malicious unfounded rumors started about you? What behavior on our part earns the distinction of being labeled 'bullying'? Here's the definition:

bullying (present participle of bul·ly) Verb: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

Interesting. It makes me wonder if we use the word a little too much. Or maybe not enough. Or maybe the definition is not expansive enough. Let's face it...at some time or another we've all been intimidated into doing things or feeling things that we didn't want to by someone who was bigger or stronger than we are. If we're honest, we ourselves may have been bullies in the lives of others at one time or another. This is not a new phenomenon. I mean, by the definition above, my parents were major bullies. By that definition we, as a country are bullies, aren't we? There are even religious bullies. Bullies are those who will do anything to get the upper hand. To set themselves up in a place of power or to further their own agenda. Intimidate and belittle and hold the feelings of others hostage for their own gain. And it's not just that children and certain groups are being bullied. I would say that it permeates every area of our lives. Everyone's lives. Why is that, do you think? 

I think the answer is quite simple. Let's call it what it really is. It is a festering symptom of the disease that is the breakdown of civility and respect in our society. That and (dare I use the actual words): Moral decay and self indulgence. Look around you. Intolerance and impatience and arrogance are so often the order of the day. There is an absence of humility and servitude. People seem to have turned the golden rule from 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' into 'do unto others before they get a chance to do unto you first.' It makes me so sad. It makes me angry, too. Makes me want to do something about it. But what?

My experience is that most people who bully do so out of a place of insecurity and a lack of self worth. That and just plain ignorance. Why are they insecure and ignorant? (Look out...here it comes:) Because that's what their parents are teaching them to be! The solution is this. If every parent made a commitment to teach their children to love and respect themselves and others and to put God first, things would turn around. See how smart I am? Problem solved. My work is done here. Now I can sit back and just enjoy the....Uh oh...wait a minute...Shoot. I just thought of something. Who is going to teach the parents how to love and respect themselves and put God first? There's the rub. Somebody dropped the ball along the way and those lessons have been left out of the lives of so many. I wish I knew why. Too bad life doesn't come with a rewind button, huh?

So, I'm left with what small part I can play in being part of the solution. I have to be vigilant and steadfast in the raising of my children. To have a heart for God. To be a good example. To practice what I preach. To remind myself every day that life and death are in the power of the tongue. To sow seeds of encouragement into as many lives as I can for as long as the Lord wills me to be on the planet. To have a spirit of willingness to be vocal and persistent in sharing the word of God regardless of what anyone may think or say. To take aim at injustice with courage and determination and to leave a legacy of love, faith and tolerance for my children to carry into future generations. Sounds like a daunting task. Seems kind of like taking on a giant, doesn't it? Hmmm...sounds familiar.

I'm hopeful. After all, Goliath was a (really) big bully. David was a vigilant and steadfast little guy. He had a heart for God, a spirit of willingness and wicked good aim.

Obviously, Goliath would have done better to pick on somebody his own size.


"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."  Titus 2:11-14 


Blessings,
~Cat

So, You Think I'm Different...

I'm different. I know that. I realize that some people aren't sure exactly how to take me. I wear my feelings on the outside and love people openly and am not afraid to say it. There's not much of a gate between my brain and my mouth which gets me into trouble sometimes. I desire to interact with everyone I meet and I like to get to know people right away. Even strangers. A good way to sum me up might be: 'Ready or not...here I come." I just genuinely love people. (Most of them). I love to laugh and find humor in everyday moments. My sense of humor is pretty eclectic and because I don't mind being the butt of the joke, I occasionally get carried away and forget sometimes that other people do mind. When I make mistakes, I usually do it up big for all the world to see. I feel terrible when I accidentally hurt someone's feelings. I have a very hard time when others around me are in conflict, especially if it is with me. I love to laugh and I hate emotional disharmony of any kind. I'm a seeker of peace. I am a full on, live and love out loud kind of a girl. I know who I am. I am a girl after God's own heart.

Different is not a bad word. People may say things like "There's something about her...she's just different." That might make some people feel self-conscious. I wear difference like a badge of honor. I want to be different. I am called to be different. Besides, being more conscious of self may not be such a bad thing anyway. Why do I say I'm called to be different? Because of this:


Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~Romans 12:2


And this:

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ~Matthew 5:14-16

We are called to be a reflection of the love of God. To draw others closer to Him; not by hammering away at those around us with our judgments and beliefs but by projecting the love of Jesus. We are to lead by example. That means being okay with showing love to everyone we come in contact with. (Yes, even the unlovable ones). It means admitting our mistakes with humility and asking forgiveness openly when required. It means being willing to reveal our imperfections and more importantly, embracing the imperfections of others. It means being able to laugh at ourselves when we are at our most vulnerable because we are secure in the fact that we are loved by the Father no matter what. Jesus saw to it that we are blameless in the eyes of God. What a gift. Knowing what I know about grace and mercy, it's no surprise that I feel different. 

The world spins crazily around me and sometimes seems so out of control. I can't let that bother me. Jesus at the center of my life gives me my equilibrium. His love and mercy steady me and give me balance. His salvation gives me a solid rock to stand on. His protection is a fortress around me. His vigilance is the guardian in the watchtower of my life. If God be for me, who dare be against me? Does that make me stand out or seem different? Good. That means I must be doing it right.

Blessings,

~Cat

Words to live by: Mother Teresa

Let this soak in...

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Somebody else wants a crack at you first. Haha. Just kidding. Sort of.

I've had a rough couple of weeks. First, I messed up my back and was laid up for about a week. As a busy mom with three kids, there are no words that make you laugh more hysterically than: 'You need to put your feet up and rest.' Yeah, right. The day the Dr. told me this, my husband had a meeting that ran late and he didn't make it home until around 10pm. Totally not his fault but of course there was no way of obeying Dr's orders at that point. I remember the Dr. saying "Can't you call your mom or a sister or other family member to come help you out?" I teared up as I told her that, like so many others, I'm a transplant with no family or support system around. Mom is gone and everyone lives too far away and is way too busy for me to ask them to come help for something so minor. I'd rather save up a trip from the grandparents for something fun. I know this is pretty common in this day and age but that doesn't make it any easier.

So I laid around and did nothing (didn't even feel like blogging) and watched in horror as things started piling up. Christmas decorations still had not been put away. Laundry everywhere. You get the picture. You would think having an excuse to do nothing would be kind of fun. Didn't turn out that way for me, unfortunately, because I spent most of the time beating myself up for being a useless lump on a log who was being a major inconvenience to my very busy hubby and was slacking off in the motherhood department as well. I beat up on myself. Why did I do that?

Enter the two biggest troublemakers in my life. You may know them, they go by the names Guilt and Condemnation. They are always lurking in the background of my life waiting to pounce when I'm at my weakest. They are crafty little buggers and they are subtle. Sometimes I never even detect their presence until they've infiltrated the breach of insecurity in my defenses and I allow myself to believe their lies and take on shame. They create a web of damage that takes a lot of prayer and soul-searching (and soaking the shoulders of loving friends) to untangle myself from. Has this happened to you, too? I'll bet so. Guilt and Condemnation are equal opportunity destroyers.

Pile on top of that a situation where I was forced to make a difficult decision involving one of my kids and found myself feeling thoroughly misunderstood, as I was judged and found lacking by another parent who was quite vocal in their disappointment and disapproval of my decision and frankly, of me in general. This was particularly painful because it was someone I really like and for whom I had a lot of respect.

Being that I was already on board at that time with the fact that I was a useless lump on a log, I stood there and took a verbal lashing because I felt I actually had made some mistakes and besides, Guilt and Condemnation already had me on my knees and I must have felt I deserved it somehow. I regret that. I wish I had a do-over. I wish I had not felt the need to explain myself and justify my decisions regarding my child to another person. I wish I had had it in me to just politely say "I acknowledge your concerns and am sorry you are upset but am going to handle this matter privately which is my right."  I hardly ever say things like that. I always think of clever and brave things to say after it's too late. I'm lousy at confrontations and other people's anger and disappointment really immobilizes me. It's a by-product of an abusive upbringing that doesn't serve me very well. With God's grace and infinite mercy, I'm making progress. I'll never be okay with confrontations but at least this time I felt there was some resolution and I have learned to love myself enough to walk away with my dignity and self respect intact regardless of the outcome.

Many of you will read this and identify with me. Many of you will not. That's fine with me because something I am learning (at this late stage of the game) is that we are all different with varying talents and ambitions, desires, dreams and goals. We all have our own baggage and issues and whatnot. There is no way we will all agree on everything. We will not always be able to relate to one another. We will say things we shouldn't and do things to offend each other without meaning to. We will try to impose our own values on others who won't understand where we are coming from. We will screw things up royally from time to time. There will be people who don't like us for the simple reason that, well..they just don't like us. We need to be okay with that.

And that is where my dearest friends, Compassion and Forgiveness come into play. Compassion and Forgiveness can come in like a flood and kick the business end of Guilt and Condemnation right back to the vile place they came from. Here's the most important part of the lesson: Don't expect or need to receive Compassion and Forgiveness from others. If you do receive it, great. Just don't set yourself up for disappointment. Instead ask it of Jesus, the one who never fails to extend His love. It works every time, guaranteed. While you're at it, offer yourself the same loving gift. Stop beating yourself up. Put the bat down, wrap your arms around yourself and hug it out. You are loved and don't you forget it. I'll try not to, either. I know you'll be here to remind me if I need you to. Thanks for being such loyal readers and remember that I'm praying for all of you as I hope you are praying for me. Have a great weekend, everyone.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. ~ Romans 8:1

Blessings,
~Cat

A Man's Field Survival Guide to the Hormonal Woman

Whoa, there, guys, I see you...no slinking away into the other room or slamming your laptops shut. No...this post is designed to help you (and in turn, the lovely woman in your life, presuming you have one...) to get through some potentially difficult times relatively unscathed and with fewer relationship scars. That can only be good, right? Right. So, this is no time to be squeamish. I invite you to man-up and read on but please feel free to pause now and again to scratch or spit or watch ESPN stats or do whatever you need to do to preserve your sense of manliness despite the fact that you are reading a post about hormones.

Okay, let me start with the first tip which is really the most important thing to remember as you are navigating the dangerous minefield of a woman under totally troublesome hormonal authority (who we will hereafter refer to as WUT-THA?) Here it is, and I'm capitalizing on purpose to get your attention:

#1 CRAZY PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA THEY ARE ACTING CRAZY.

This is important to remember because there will be certain times when you will want the WUTTHA in your life to own up to or even (hahaha!) apologize for her attitude or behavior while under the influence of hormones and she will have no earthly idea what you are talking about. She would rather eat dirt than say she is sorry for something she believes is a complete fabrication of your imagination. That is why you must learn to recognize the signs leading up to and during the duration of your WUTTHA's hormonal invasion so that you can protect yourself and others within her circle of influence. This leads us to survival tip #2.

#2 SORRY, I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU....THERE WILL ACTUALLY BE LITTLE OR NO WARNING BEFORE THE ONSET OF SYMPTOMS. This is one reason why we seem so cranky. One minute it's all sunshine and roses and then without warning...WHAMMO. We have an overwhelming urge to throw something across the room and hear it shatter into pieces for no apparent reason. Right after that we will burst into tears and sob uncontrollably about how much the thrown object meant to us. Does this kind of behavior make you uncomfortable? Well, that's too bad because in that moment, we won't particularly care and will demand that you hold us while we cry. So you see, there is unfortunately no preemptive strategy you can employ to prevent the inevitable emotional collateral damage (see I'm using man-speak to make this more palatable for you) but there are some steps you can take to mitigate the suffering. (Yours, not hers).

#3 Do not draw attention to her situation by asking pesky questions such as: Wow, what's your problem today? Are you on your...(you get the point.) This will only ignite a powder keg of unstable emotions. BOOM! No, sir...you don't want that.

#4 Under no circumstances should you laugh at her behavior in her presence. I cannot stress this enough. If you must laugh, stifle your outburst and hie yourself off to a safe distance, far away from the earshot of your WUTTHA. But be warned...our hormonal hearing is unnaturally acute and even if we don't actually hear the laughter, we will still feel that you are making fun of us. Fair warning: You indulge in humor at her expense at your own risk.

#5 Trying to make your WUTTHA feel better by showering her with compliments or offering sympathy will only backfire on you. Even delivered sincerely you will most likely be perceived as being patronizing.  Do not, I repeat, do NOT tell her you know how she feels or compare her backache and cramps to the time you threw out your back playing baseball with your buddies. Trust me...not the same thing.
 ** It is important to note that while compliments and sympathy are not recommended, gifts are perfectly acceptable as long as you make a concerted effort not to say anything stupid during presentation of said gift.

Are you still with me? Wow...impressive. You are a good man, indeed. At this point, I can imagine you asking: "Well, sheesh...what can I do to make her feel better, then?" Good question. The answer? Not a darn thing. But fear not...all is not lost. Here is an insider's list of things that are marginally safe to say to your WUTTHA that may not get you in too much trouble but are certainly not guaranteed to help you out in any way. Try saying things like:

"Hi."

"No, you are not fat. Not now, not ever!"

"Here's the credit card, why don't you go shopping with some friends."
(This may sound extravagant but is really a win/win as it gets her out of the house for a while).

"Yes, I'd be happy to."

"You have every right to feel the way you feel."
(This may not be entirely truthful but she'll appreciate it, nonetheless.)


"I can see that you are upset, but I'd prefer that you don't call me an idiot, please, if you don't mind."

"Take all the time you need."

"Here are some tissues...just let it all out."

"Honey, what you need is a heating pad, some Advil, a good book and a little space."

"Why don't I take the kids out to see a movie while you hang out and watch whatever you want on TV."

And last but certainly not least..."Yes, dear."

Try to remember that being under the influence of hormones feels like a full body hostile takeover. It is only temporary insanity and we really wish there was a way we could keep you out of the cross-hairs of our crazy mixed up emotions. I think I speak on behalf of all of the WUTTHA's out there when I say "I sincerely apologize for any ongoing inconveniences you may be experiencing as a result of our raging hormones. We will make every effort to minimize your suffering and confusion and to take it easy on you as much as is humanly possible in the future."

Now, enough with the chit-chat. We want a foot-rub. ;0)

Blessings,
Cat

Digging Out of the Rubble with a Teaspoon

Well, here it is, folks. 2012 has arrived right on time and I'm so happy to see that many of you are full of energy and vitality and resolve. Good for you! I, on the other hand, feel like one of those old cars you see people having to push to get a little momentum and then pop the clutch to get 'er going. Just not feelin' it today. My alarm didn't go off this morning and by the grace of God I woke up at 7:15 and was actually able to get the kids to school on time and everyone seemed to be in pretty good spirits. Me? I'm dragging a bit. I have a fever and a sore throat and aches and pains. I just need ONE MORE DAY OF VACATION.

Realistically, one day won't do it for me. As some of you know, we have been on vacation in Niagara Falls since Christmas day. Before that I was working non-stop on a Christmas parade float for the elementary school (We won the Committee's Choice Award!) and then it was room mom and pod mom responsibilities for the school Christmas parties, etc. and trying to deck my own halls and get ready for Santa and get packed for vacation. To say that my regular chores have been neglected would be like saying that Mount Everest is kind of high. Major understatement. I am deep in the rubble and feel like I'm armed with only a teaspoon to dig myself out.

This is all my fault. I do it every year even though I say that I won't. I still have what my husband calls a speech impediment which prevents me from saying the word 'no' to anyone but him. I really enjoy the holidays but get so over-committed that I let things go by the wayside and end up at the beginning of January with a house full of clutter and half done projects and I stand around helplessly with my hands on my hips trying to figure out what to do first.

Here's what I've decided: I'm taking the day off today to focus on list making and assigning myself and the kids tasks to get started on. I'm doing essential laundry to be sure my kids don't have to go to school in 40 degree weather in shorts and t-shirts and will have matching socks and clean underwear. I'm putting a roast in the crockpot and then I'm taking a slug of Nyquil and taking a long winter's nap until time to get the kids from school. That's it. That's my big plan. Not very impressive, I know but at least I have a sort of strategy in place to move forward. David called to inform me that he has a meeting with the Vice President of the company until 8pm so that pretty much prohibits me from doing anything out of the house after the kids get home from school. I won't lie...that works for me!

So what if I am starting off the New Year at a snail's pace? Slow and steady wins the race, right? No condemnation or self flagellation, here. I'm ignoring the rubble for the immediate future. My teaspoon will be unavailable today for anything except stirring a cup of hot tea with lemon. Happy New Year and may God bless you and keep you now and always.

Blessings,
~Cat