Thursday, August 26, 2010

Holy Roller?

So here I am again sitting at my computer trying to figure out how to encapsulate the last few months without boring you to tears. You know what? I'm going to give you the super-abbreviated version. Summer was great. We went to Dallas, went to Colorado, built the mother of all treehouses, hung out and watched countless reruns on the Disney Channel, went to Schlitterbahn in Galveston and then school started. There you're all up to date now.

Getting the kids back into the routine of school has been a lot easier than I thought (okay, worried) it would be. The kids are back to bed at 8:30 which means that I am in bed earlier and that is definitely going to be better for me. I have been too much of a night owl lately and I really need more rest. I've been singing more often on the worship team at church which I absolutely love and am still trying to get it down on the inside that I really do get to serve at Lakewood in this capacity. It will never become 'routine' to step out on that platform with people I love and do what I know I was born to do. It still blows me away. I just love it!! I'm so grateful.

Speaking of Lakewood, I was talking with someone recently and when she found out we attend Lakewood she said "So, I guess you're one of those holy rollers." I busted out laughing. This just struck me funny because I don't think anyone has ever referred to me as 'holy' anything. It got me thinking...

Webster defines holy this way: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness. So right there I'm out of the running because I'm not perfect, period. I'm especially not perfect in goodness and righteousness. Don't get me wrong, I do aspire to goodness and righteousness, but let's be honest...I'm nowhere near perfect. Yes I'm aware that God is really the one most people refer to as holy. For Him...the definition certainly fits. It's just that it got me thinking about the things that are patently un-holy (I think I just invented a word) that I have done in my life and if I'm honest, continue to do even now. I like to think that I am pursuing a life of righteousness but then
something like this will happen: someone in the car rider line cut right in front of me (just yesterday) and I began thinking some pretty un-holy thoughts. "What's with you, lady?" "Can't you see the rest of us sitting here patiently waiting our turn?" Really, the nerve of some people, who does she think she is?" etc. etc. I really had to catch myself before I let her totally ruin my mood. If I am to pursue a holy and more righteous mindset, shouldn't I be able to look at this same woman and say "Oh, well...I'm sure she's just distracted" "She must be new at this and is probably not aware of what she's doing." "It's not like I'm in a huge hurry or anything...who cares if she cuts in front?" I did get to that point eventually, but it wasn't my first reaction.

I really do try to give grace to others where it's needed. I do try to see the best in others. I do try to be friendly and accepting whenever possible. I'll even go as far as to say that I actually go out of my way most of the time to make people feel welcome or comfortable or included...whatever the situation requires. I find it's a lot easier and takes less energy to be kind and loving to people. All people. Even the annoying ones! Isn't that what we're called to do as Christians? But...every now and then someone rubs me the wrong way and holy goes right out the window and righteousness goes along for the ride. Of course I'll regret it and ask for forgiveness but I wish I were just a little more holy in certain situations, you know? There's my confession. Sometimes I let things get the best of me and occasionally I behave in less than holy ways. I guess we all do. I realize there is much, much more to holiness than I am describing here but am using this example to illustrate my point. I just don't think I can quite live up to holy roller status but it's good to be goal-oriented, right? Maybe someday...(heehee).

"Holy roller" sort of insinuates that one is a fanatic. I'm certainly not a religious fanatic. But I am crazy about Jesus. I guess I'm so grateful for salvation because I so desperately needed saving. I have no problem singing about Him or talking about Him (or at Lakewood, shouting about Him!) and I figure if you knew where I came from and what I've been through and the things I have overcome and have been liberated'd probably be shouting, too.
You can call me a holy roller if you want to, I don't mind. It would be more accurate to say that I am a Christian walking through a journey of faith and learning, who is actively in pursuit of righteousness and goodness. That's just how I roll.