Friday, June 1, 2012

I'm Sexy and I Know It

Okay, okay...simmer down. I know you want to run for the hills but before you get all pious and pinchy in the face with righteous indignation and become all judgmental and skeptical and whatnot...gird your loins and hear me out. I'm going somewhere with this.

Let me start by saying that first of all, I've been monogamously married to the same man for 15 years. Sex is not a dirty word. Second of all, I'm forty-(nunnayobizness) years old and have some pretty solid life experience behind me to share and third of all...I'm three weeks post-op from a hysterectomy/prolapse repair surgery and the only thing going on in my bedroom these days involves a lot of reading and channel surfing and some epic napping. So why the racy title? Because this is my final chapter in the whole hysterectomy journey saga and I'd like to end it with a bang. (Pun most cleverly intended!) ;0)

You see, I came into this whole experience with a lot of pre-conceived notions, most of which were obtained by second hand information both from well meaning friends and family and from reading (often horror) stories of those who had boldly gone before me and then decided to post about it on the internet. I cannot stress to you enough how much I wish I had NEVER looked up 'hysterectomy, prolapse repair success stories' online. Talk about TMI!! Nope, no more seeking medical information online for me. Just ratchets up the anxiety level and who needs that?

One of  the recurring themes that I encountered most often was that after hysterectomy, a person's libido could be permanently adversely affected.  As one woman in an online forum put it: "When my husband looks at me in that way, I want to run and hide." YIKES! I won't lie...this was my #1 concern (aside from not waking up from the anesthesia) going into surgery. I'm in a healthy happy marriage and intimacy is a big deal. I did not want to lose that part of our life together and for it to be all my fault. I fretted and read more stuff and the more I read, the more I fretted. Typical of me. In the end, I did what I should have done right from the beginning. I prayed and asked God to have His way in my life and my health and my marriage and just gave it all to Him. What else can you do?

My surgery was a success. They removed my uterus, which was rather enlarged. I also had a fluid filled Fallopian tube that had expanded and was basically like a water balloon. I am so glad to have all of that out! Aside from some setbacks here and there, I am recovering well and healing slowly but surely. I am so grateful for all of the excellent care I received from the doctors and nurses at Woman's Hospital of Texas. I'm glad it's over and glad to be home resting. And there's another thing I'm glad about...

Two weeks after my surgery, I had showered and done my hair and put on a cute little sundress and a little makeup just so I could feel human again. I was standing in the bathroom, brushing my hair and my husband came in and said "Wow, you look so beautiful, honey." We stood looking in the mirror at each other for a moment and all of the familiar feelings came rushing back. Maybe even a little stronger than before. Suffice it to say that even though I can't do anything about it for a few more weeks, (wink, wink...nudge nudge) I have most definitely NOT "lost that lovin' feeling." (Said with a big grin and an emphatic fist pump).

So...why am I risking embarrassing myself by telling you all of this? Because it is SO important to me to get the message out there to anyone, young or older, who has to go through this surgery (either now or in the future) that there is hope. That not only can you feel better physically, it is not a death sentence for your love life. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Even if it isn't right at first, my doctor assured me that there are things that can be done to help along the way. Just trust and all will be well. Also, do yourself a favor and try to stay off the internet.

Just as I prayed, I'm already feeling that when all is said and done, I'll be stronger than I've ever been. Healthier than I've been in a long time and back to my sassy self again very soon. It may take some time but I'm content in the knowledge that everything is as it should be. You never know...I might be taking up Zumba in a few weeks. Better look out, David. Hey, if you're lucky I might even give you a running start.

Me, sexy? You better know it.

Blessings,
~Cat







14 comments:

  1. Can I say I love this blog? Guess I shouldn't be asking for permission, because I kind have already did. Not only does this speak volumes on the horomone concerns most women have with 'loosing the love oven' and menopause as that is a wonderful new life event you will be going into prematurely; but also It is such a relief to me to read this even as a single woman. The worlds veiw of marriage is to 'drive it until it starts having problems- then trade 'er in for a newer model', You just told me the spark can still be there biologically and pysically as well. I am so glade your husband and you still got that 'swing'. It's a wonderful fairy tale. Im holding out for that kind of love. :)You go girl! Get it <3

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  2. lookin good mama!! love,nancy the decorative painter.

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  3. You Rock!!! You know I had the final stages completed last year and Seth and I are doing just fine ( wink wink)

    Love You,

    Robyn

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  4. Thank you guys! It's good to know that I haven't lost my mojo!! Ha! Thanks for commenting.

    ~Cat

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  5. Written as only YOU could, sweet friend! You are a blessing to many - can't wait to have your sassy self beck singing!! Love you :0) ~Amy H

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  6. *back.....I guess I follow your lead with typos :0)lol

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  7. As always, love it. Glad you are on the mends!

    D.T.

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  8. Yes gurl...indeed you are! :-)

    Thanks so much for sharing this blog...I really loved your transparency. Like Amber said, it's encouraging to know that your marriage is so strong...I am definitely holding out for that kind of love :-)

    Yay for you, Cat! You are missed...and you are dearly loved. Remain blessed and in His peace!!!

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  9. Good for you!
    Sherra

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  10. Catherine. You’re the best and super funny. I am so happy you are better. Jesus loves you…;

    Christine

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  11. haha I loved this blog. Go you! Zumba=fun! Let's do it!

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  12. Yes, Lauren...I was serious about the Zumba! Let's do it!
    I know of some places locally. If you have a place in mind, message me. Just a few more weeks... :0)

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  13. As you have already figured out, take it slow and easy to recovery – it pays off to be the turtle in this race. Hot soaking baths really helped me with pain. On days when I was more physically active and became sore, a hot bath sucked the pain out of my body and I could do more. I remember taking up to three hot soaks/day – I think it stretched/relaxed scar tissue. A year later, yoga became helpful.
    Your journey is beautiful and special – I wish you
    well.

    ~TG

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