Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Deliberate Density

I almost titled this post Selective Stupidity but when I remembered I would be discussing the behavior and habits of my own children I realized that probably wouldn't be appropriate. In my defense, I was tired, aggravated and annoyed at the time and wasn't thinking clearly. Another potential title might have been Opportunistically Obtuse but that's just too much of a mouthful.

FIRST, A DISCLAIMER: My children are highly intelligent, well mannered, articulate, easily manageable, kind, loving, and sensitive little people. Really, I'm not just saying that. I know lots of people who will back me up on that. I completely love and adore them all. But there are times....

I have to wonder how the same children, who can remember with uncanny precision every single solitary goofy word to practically every movie, video or annoying song they've ever heard without missing a beat, cannot seem to remember to pick up the clothes they leave on the floor after being reminded SEVERAL TIMES EVERY DAY FOR PRACTICALLY THEIR ENTIRE LIVES??!! This is continually baffling to me. This also applies to closing the door when they enter or leave the house. This is not a difficult skill to master. You just grab the little round knob and pull, for heaven's sake! And yet...I'll bet I say "Close the door, you're letting in bugs and letting out cold air!" about twenty times a day. (Per kid!) I also hear myself say "I know you know better than this" and "Why do I have to tell you over and over, you should have done it the first time I asked you!" The worst part? They're making me sound like my mother and, well, naturally, I can't stand that.

And another thing...how is it that they remember every thing I say that benefits them or serves their little kid agendas but they can't seem to remember many of the things I've asked them to do? Prime Example: "Mom, you said we would go to Toys 'R Expensive (my name for it), so when are we going? Today? Can we go today? You said, Mom, You said." Of course they conveniently forget the part about having to clean their rooms and do extra things around the house in order to go. That part somehow doesn't get deposited into their usually acute memory banks.

This same breach of brainpower comes into play when it comes to the issue of their personal safety. I wish I had a dime for every time I've walked into the room unannounced and have uttered in astonishment: "Oh, Lord, what are ya'll thinking? Somebody's gonna get hurt!" Once I even walked into the (2nd story) playroom and found they had opened the shutters and the window, removed the screen and were leaning out the window looking down!! I've caught them doing any number of completely boneheaded things and I think to myself; I know these are reasonably smart children...where have I gone wrong? Knock on wood, we have not experienced any broken bones or visits to the hospital (with the exception of Mattie who had to be hospitalized for four days after her toe got infected with Staph).

These are (who I consider to be) exceptionally bright children, so it begs the question: Are they doing it on purpose? Are they plotting and planning to systematically wear me down until I give up and just stop asking them to do their chores? Are they hoping I'll be so mentally exhausted by the time they are teenagers that they'll be able to ask me anything and I'll blankly answer "yes, of course, dear and by the way, here's a $20" to all of their requests? If so, they'll be mightily disappointed. Oh, yeah, that's right...Mama is on to them now. Ha!

I hope you took the time to watch the video as it illustrates just what I'm up against here. As my great grandfather, Papa would say: "It's not that they're not smart, it's just sometimes they ain't got no sense." That explains it perfectly.

Summer's halfway over. Say a prayer for me. I'm gonna need it!



No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. If you do not wish to sign in with an account to leave a comment, simply click on 'ANONYMOUS' then leave your comment and sign your name and/or web address so I'll know who stopped by!