Friday, July 8, 2011

Stay Home Moms vs Working Moms

Okay, I know this is a sensitive subject but one worth exploring. I saw a thread on a friend's FB wall (she's a teacher) where she was joking around about how fed up she was with her kids complaining about being bored and how ready she was to go back to work where she could get some peace. What followed was a little surprising to me as some of the women who commented got all competitive and snarky and judgmental and stuff.

Why is it that we, as women, feel the need to compare ourselves to one another and then waste so much time trying to justify our lives and our choices? I'll be honest...I do it too. I try not to but it just happens sometimes (usually when I see a super fit mom with abs you could bounce a quarter off of who has 4 kids. I hate that.) On the subject of motherhood, though it seems like the lines are drawn when it comes to public opinion. I am a stay at home mom. My choice (and David's of course). One I'm grateful to be able to make. Does that mean I don't work because I'm not a 'working mom'? Of course not. I seem to be able to keep myself quite busy. Does it mean that I'm a superior mother because I stay home and focus my energy on running my home? Nope, sure doesn't. Sometimes I really wish I had the extra income that working outside the home would provide. Someday I may choose that option.

There are all kinds of moms out there. Some good (Me), some bad (Casey Anthony) but the question is: Why the comparisons, why the judgment and why the opinionated commentary on other peoples' life choices? I've seen women looking down their noses at moms who don't feed their kids all organic foods. I've heard women criticizing others for not having their kids in organized sports. This actually happened to me. A woman at the store asked me what my kids were involved in and when I said they all did karate she said "but your boys should be in baseball by's really important for you to get them involved in sports at a young age." Really....what's it to her or anyone else what activities my kids are involved in. Or what they eat. Or if they are vaccinated. Or if they pick their noses or suck their thumbs. Or if they know their multiplication tables by the age of 3. Or if I work outside the home or whatever. I just don't get it. I'll do me. You do you.

My suggestion? Don't use the word 'just' when you ask a woman if she stays home with her kids. And don't say 'oh, do you have to work' as if it's a bad thing to women who work outside the home. Fact is, it's really none of our business what other people choose to do. Women should be building each other up as mothers instead of putting them down. I'm not pro 'stay home mom' or pro 'working mom' I'm pro MOM. Period.

That's just my opinion. Feel free to weigh in with yours.



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