Monday, July 18, 2011

This Just In...Supermom Defeats LEGOS in Stunning Upset...

I gotta tell ya...I'm in a love/hate relationship with Legos. The boys love 'em and I hate 'em. I put up with them mostly because of the fact that I have Superior Super Mom powers. My definition of being a Superior Super Mom is that my kids manage to survive without any serious or lasting damage at the end of each day while I continue to bravely hold on to the ragged, worn edges of my sanity by giving in to them at times when I should really be putting my foot down. Webster's Dictionary defines Supermom this way: (No, I'm not making this up, I couldn't believe this was actually in there, either) supermom: an exemplary mother, also, a woman who performs the traditional roles of housekeeping and child rearing while also maintaining a full time job.
Well, I will have to go with definition #1 on this one (loosely) while maintaining that being a stay home mom and wife is definitely a full time job for me. My hat's off to the moms who have to work outside the home. Don't know how you guys do that.

Anyway, it all started innocently enough when a good friend of mine gave me a bag full of MegaBloks (like Legos, but bigger) when Patrick was a toddler. I thought she was donating these as gesture of goodwill but I see now that she had ulterior motives I was not to fully comprehend until years later. As soon as he started playing with them I noticed that they seemed to be multiplying. Not only that, but they would appear directly in the path of my bare feet out of nowhere even after I was certain they had all been put away. Though somewhat suspicious, I explained it away as mommy fatigue and still didn't realize the full impact of where this was headed until it was...much too late.

Fast forward to a few years ago when both both boys became old enough to play with the real Legos. You know, the little bitty evil ones that when stepped on will cause uncharacteristic bad language to pour out of one's mouth uncontrollably. David's dad had a collection of NASA themed Legos that he'd been holding on to and sent them as a gift one year. The boys became consumed with them...they would play by themselves for hours at a time. 'This is great,' I would say to myself. 'They are playing so quietly and aren't requiring my constant attention. This is wonderful, I should take them to Toys 'R Expensive and let them pick out some MORE.' Big mistake. Compounding the problem, we had a friend who became a Lego representative and she started gifting us with the elaborate displays that they used in the toy stores after they were discontinued. Things were spiraling out of control. Then they came out with Star Wars Legos and all was lost.  I've become completely outnumbered, outgunned and outsmarted and the only option at this point has been to attempt to fight back.

I have been in an ongoing battle with Legos for some time. Some days I gain ground, other days, not so much. The people who make Legos are evil geniuses who have figured out a way to make usually completely rational adults pay exorbitant amounts of money for elaborate sets with thousands of pieces just so the kid can get the little mini-figure that comes along with it. Of course you can't just buy the little mini-figures by themselves...that would be too cheap and easy! Santa and I have both seemed powerless to resist their little puppy dog faces as each new set comes out. However...Santa and I need to suck it up and put on our game faces because the Lego situation in this house is out of control.

Funny I should use the words 'suck it up,' as the vacuum cleaner has been my first weapon of choice when they leave them lying around after being told to put them away. I'll admit to a little devious thrill when I hear the rattling sound of them being sucked into the great beyond never to be heard from again. Muahahaha! I've started making them use their own money to buy Legos. That has put a huge dent in the amount of Legos we have coming into the house. Yesiree, I am making great strides but the battle is far from over. The point is I'm finally putting my foot down. I can only hope that it won't result in me needing to have a Lego surgically removed from my it. Ha!

Don't get me wrong. I am very proud of their creativity and they have both built some very impressive buildings and elaborate set-ups, some of which I've even helped to assemble. Legos are actually pretty cool. It's just gotten a bit out of hand. I invite you to enjoy this video of Patrick, his friends Blake and Riley and, of course, Michael who adds a spark of excitement to the production by passing gas during what was intended to be an otherwise quite serious presentation. (Feel free to fast forward as needed). Life with my boys is a fun filled, though occasionally somewhat smelly adventure that I wouldn't trade for anything.




  1. LOL! Hilarious! Yay!!! The battle will be won, supermom! Keep fighting :)

  2. That is too funny! I, myself, have stepped on a few legos with bare feet! I'm now considering being one of those moms who kindly offers our collection to some poor, unsuspecting family:) Shhhhh...don't tell!

  3. Pochahontas, Your secret is safe with me....;0)


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